2012 has come to an end, so I thought I’d do the typical reminiscent blog post. So, here it goes.
12 Things I loved about 2012…
1. Discovering One Direction- I became a huge 1D fan this year after they had broken the American music market. Now I’m a full fledged Directioner and proud of it. I’m obsessed with them. It all started in March with What Makes You Beautiful and I’ve been in love ever since.
2. Going to the One Direction concert- I did a blog post on that so I won’t really expand on it other than… best entertainment experience of my life.
3. Being A Winner- My cheer squad won state this year, our football team, and OU won Bedlam. All were extremely exciting and called for a lot of screaming and, in a few instances, tears. I’m so proud to be a state champ with like 60 other people. That’s amazing coming from OCS. Bedlam with Allison was just as exciting because it was an OT victory at home AND it was right on the 20 yard line where we sat.
4. Thunder Up!- OKC making it to the finals in the NBA was SO fun. Our whole city and state was so unified around the Thunder and, even though we didn’t win, it was a great experience. I swear Academy was packed for like 4 weeks straight with people buying Thunder apparel.
5. Being a Senior- 2012 was my first half of senior year and it was awesome. I barely go to school, it feels like, as a senior and I have Mr. Hough. Not to mention the state titles that were won.
6. The University of Oklahoma- I got accepted to my dream college and I’ve got a roommate and everything. It finally hit me that I’m almost in college in 2012.
7. Music- Taylor Swift, Ed Sheeran, Justin Bieber, and One Direction all had new albums this year. Of course they’re all fantastic, so I’ve had plenty to listen to for the past 12 months.
8. The 90s- I really got back into Boy Meets World and Saved By The Bell this year. I’m a sucker for 90s TV, the fashion trends they sport, and a quality story of boy wins over girl. You can’t go wrong with Cory, Topanga, Eric, Shaun, Zack, Kelly, Slater, Screech, Lisa, or Jessie and I really learned that this year.
9. Pinterest- How can I even describe my love and obsession for Pinterest? Well let’s just say, if we counted up the hours I spent on it this year you could probably by a new car.
10. Jesus- In 2012 my relationship with God really grew. I can positively say that I’m closer to Him today than I was a year ago. That’s a good feeling and I hope I can say the same a year from today. He pulled me through a lot in school, cheer, my future, and I am so grateful. Without Him I would not be the person I am today.
11. Gossip Girl- GG became an obsession in 2012 when I was home sick one day and stumbled across the pilot on TV. After that, I was hooked. I watched the entire show from beginning to end in about 3 months. Xoxo
12. Planning- This year I did a lot of planning ahead. Vacations, college, outfits… I’m a planning freak. I always research something I’m about to buy or experience. I think the older I get the more I’ll become a planner. 2012 was the first year that I really noticed my planning fetish and I can’t say I think it’s a bad thing.

So there it is. I’m excited for what 2013 will bring me and I’m thankful for what 2012 did.
Happy New Year!

I love that God gave us such able senses. Smell, taste, sight, touch, hear. Imagine life with never smelling fresh chocolate chip cookies, hearing your favorite song, seeing an Oklahoma sunset, tasting your grandma’s pie, or touching your loved ones… Life would be lonely and very you-centered. Our senses allow us to connect and interact. They are especially good at bringing back old memories…at least to me they are.
I have things that I smell or hear that remind me of a different time. I love when I get to experience that beautiful nostalgia. I never really can control when it happens. But the best cases are the ones that are unexpected anyways.

Every time I smell Juicy Couture’s self titled perfume I am reminded of 8th grade. A lot happened to me that year and I smelled it every day when I spritzed it on my wrists and neck before school. Something about just getting a whiff of it takes me back to Miss Hermansen’s English class, silly lunches with my friends, middle school cheer, and my first boy friend. It especially reminds me of the walk to advisory in the funky smelling band room on a cold morning. That’s my first thought when I smell it. Cold walks.
When I hear Taylor Swift’s album Fearless I’m also reminded of 8th grade. I really started to love her then and that’s when I really tapped my feelings in with music. Breathe, Fearless, Fifteen, Hey Stephen, Forever and Always, White Horse, You Belong With Me, You’re Not Sorry, The Way I Loved You are the ones that stick out. Every song takes me back. In my room at night in 8th grade I would put on that album. It would play while I was in the shower and I could even still hear it sometimes. It followed me everywhere. The Way I Loved You and Hey Stephen remind me of those nights of just living through my life and winding down with hot showers. Forever and Always and Fifteen remind me of learning how dating is a game. That was a hard lesson. Fearless reminds me of that first semester of feeling like my life was perfect and God had dropped everything in place. Breathe was that song that got me through the heartbreak after the perfection. 8th grade held a lot of heartbreak. I adore that tune. White Horse takes me back to that feeling of finally realizing people will fail you. Boys and girls failed me that year. I grew a spine and learned that I don’t deserve that and there is no they were coming back to that pedestal they were once on. You’re Not Sorry is that song sung with hard eyes. It’s the door slammed on a relationship that wronged you. It allows you to release all your frustrations and anger. I love it and sang my heart out to that one. Because it is so true. Every lyric. You Belong With Me is that super fun memory of 8th grade. Like the retreat and dancing around with Lacey. It was the song before I grew up and started to learn what life was.

Obviously there are many memories just in 8th grade. It was the year I grew the most, learned the most, and experienced the widest range of feelings. Songs are my favorite way to communicate, next to blogging, but I can’t sing or write a song. I’m so thankful that God gave us the ability to hear and smell and all the others. It makes life more colorful. Nostalgia will never grow old and as long as I have my senses, I’ll be experiencing it for the rest of my life. Thank you Jesus.

I have noticed that lately my relationship with God has grown. People around me have always talked about how they have nothing good in or about them apart from Jesus. I never quite felt that about myself until recently.
In the past week or two I have been in a situation and where my pride, for example, is really bogging me down. Something happens where somebody wrongs me and my pride wants everyone to know that they’re wrong, but recently this voice in my head is saying, “Yuck. Jesus empty me of this sin and fill me with You.” This pride inside of me is filth and I don’t want it there. I want Jesus to empty me of all the bad inside me and fill me up with Him. I am full of pride, anger, bitterness, and sin. So what do I have to offer the world? That? The world doesn’t need all that! There’s plenty of it in the world. The world needs Jesus! I still need Him more each day. I don’t want to walk around carrying this junk inside me. Thankfully our relationship has expanded and He has grown me to realize that I need Him and I need to become like Him. The best part is, I WANT to be more like Him and less like me.
I’ve never been this far into a relationship with Him, but I’ve realized that the older I get the more I realize that it’s not about me.

A few weeks ago a man came to speak to the high school about his daughter and the Columbine shooting.
I recognized the name Columbine and knew it was something bad, but I didn’t know much more. I didn’t know when it happened, where, how bad it was or anything really. All I knew was that I was getting out of class for an hour and that was fine with me. I approached this assembly with a poor attitude. Like it wasn’t that big of a deal, it was just some man coming to talk about a school shooting. I hate when people have a “too cool” attitude and yet that is how I acted when I heard about it.
Before the assembly I had gotten on my iPad in class and googled Columbine. I read about it on Wikipedia and got a grasp on what happened on that day in April at Columbine High School in Colorado. The first victim’s name came up as Rachel Scott and I learned that she was shot while eating lunch outside. That was about all I knew about Columbine and I admit, it made me rethink how I was acting towards the assembly.
So fast forward to the actual Columbine Redemption later that day. Rachel Scott’s dad was standing before me and my high school with a somber expression on his face telling us about the day his precious daughter was shot and killed by two classmates and how his son was almost brought to the same fate after watching his two friends be taunted and killed.
A picture of Rachel Scott popped up on the screen and I admit, I gasped. She was flawlessly gorgeous in my eyes. Not even just on the outside. Rachel’s inner beauty was one so strong that it somehow shone through her and you could see it. The person his daughter, Rachel, was is a girl about my age that is everything I want to be. Sitting in my chair I realized that I would have loved so so much to have been able to meet or even be friends with her. She loved to write and wanted to change the world and had an extremely beautiful relationship with Jesus Christ. She believed she would change the world and she also believed she would die young. Rachel was described by nonbelievers she was friends with as being what all Christians should be. Even without talking religion, they said that her actions were more proof to her faith than words could ever be. She was a friend to the friendless and a voice for those that couldn’t stand up for themselves. She was truly and angel (even though she was not perfect, her father admitted) and seemingly prophetic in the way she wrote and drew.
Her message was that she believed if one person would do something kind for another, they could start a chain reaction. She was truly a people person and had a huge heart for people. Especially the disabled, new kids at school, and the “loners.” Every life was valuable in her sight and she is the beginning of her own chain reaction philosophy.
Before Rachel died, I mean weeks before she died, she sensed her death coming and she wrote about it. Her father related Rachel to Anne Frank, who she much admired. The similarities were scary. Both were destined to change the world and knew it, both kept journals of their lives that became their legacy and what they are remembered for, both were girls that died young. Thats not even all of it. The day of the shooting 12 students died-12 apostles, the one Columbine teacher that died was named David-Jesus came from the line of David and Jesus is the teacher of the 12 apostles, the day in April that the shooting occurred was near Easter. My mind was blown. There was no way this wasn’t a complete act of God.
As sad as the story of Rachel was, her life has impacted millions. Just like she wanted and knew it could. My favorite quote from her is now something I want to live by… “I will not be considered average.”